A Glimpse of Edward Compromising
by DreamingLillies
Summary: All I had to do was nod my head, and I could have more pleasure than I could ever imagine, and I could have it all tonight…I let out of a uneven breath. 'Compromise' in Eclipse in EPOV. part of 'A Glimpse of Edward' series.


**_I do not own Twilight, or any of the Cullens unfortunately, but I did borrow the dialogue from the chapter _**"Compromise" **_in _**_Eclipse_** written by SM of course, pages 443-460.**

**This is written in EPOV.**

_Sex._

_She wanted sex._

It echoed in my head for a millisecond before I stopped her madness.

What the fuck was she _thinking_?

"Be reasonable Bella."

"You promised—whatever I wanted." I tried to resist the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"We're not having this discussion." I glared at her and fastened up my buttons to finalize my statement. I hoped she would suddenly see reason and we could go back to the amazing night we were having. A night that had almost made me feel human again.

"I say we are." But I was not human. In fact, I don't know a human male who would be saying no this adorable, self destructive rebelling angel in front of me.

Then she yanked off the top buttons on her shirt.

_Don't look, Edward. Don't you dare look down. She can not see any weakness on your face with this. This can not happen_.

"I say we're not." I forced my voice to sound firm.

"You wanted to know what I wanted." She mumbled stubbornly.

"I thought it would something faintly realistic." Actually, late at night when I would let my mind wonder, I had dread that she would want this human experience, however when I thought of it she had wanted it with the _dog_. If I was being honest with myself and pushed all my thoughts of fear from my mind, this was so much better. I was elated. I could run for days on end with the thought that she wanted me. I wanted to gloat, beat off my chest and scream from every hill top that she wanted me. _She wants me like _that_._

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want—like getting married—" When the hell was getting married considered something ridiculous! Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't people been getting married for centuries? Since the beginning of time? I do not understand her. "But I'm not allowed to even discuss what I—"

I tied her arms together in front of her with one of my hands and with the other I blocked her mouth from saying whatever ludicrous thing she was going to shock me with next. I didn't think I could take it.

"No."

There, that was over. Thank God. This must be some kind of punished for my earlier sins; having to endure this unadulterated torture. I had to say no to her again and again when both of our bodies were craving the same thing. However mine was also crazing something else, I reminded myself. I wanted her so badly, I ached for her every night and now here she is practically begging for me to make love to her, and I have to decline her!

But I am a monster. I do not deserve her. And I damn sure wasn't going to risk her life so I could have pleasure. That was even more selfish, I never thought anything else could be, than changing her. I would be risking her life just so I could feel her around me as I plunged deep into her warmth—

No. No thoughts like that around her when she awake and in front of me. Especially not when she bargaining for sex. No signs of weakness. I looked at my angel, praying for mercy she was not cooking up some other blind side as she stared off into nothing.

"What now?" I moved my hand off her luscious lips and to her chin to force her to look at me. Maybe if she had to look me in the eye, it would be harder for her to ask for something. Oh Jesus, what if she wanted—

Something was not right. Her eyes looked wet and her demeanor was hunched and her face was distorted in this devastated way, her body language was pulling away from me. What human reaction would she be having now?

"Nothing." She said quickly. I studied her face explicitly; searching through the thousands of her facial expressions I had committed to memory. Then it dawned on me.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I am the worst specimen on the Earth. I am so despicable. I hurt her _again._ Didn't she understand how much I wanted her? How much I wished every night to be able to relax around her, to actually hold her? To be able to feel her, pull her body, touch it fully, not just feather light touches and kisses. My body yearned for her scent and body, it screamed at my mind to roughly take her, to gratify my need for her. Didn't she feel my agony as I longed to kiss her like a real man? To feel her tongue against mine? To take care of all her needs like a man should? How could she not know?

"No." She said almost immediately. I grabbed her softly, to me at least, and pulled her in my lap, holding her head against me, willing her to feel me solid and wanting under her. I caressed her with the softest of touches and wanted to weep at the unfairness of the whole situation.

"You know why I have to say no. You know that I want you, too." I whispered to her, to what felt like the hundredth time. I didn't know how to explain that to her other than saying it, ironically the only other way would be to prove it to her, which is what I couldn't do in the first place…it was a vicious circle.

"Do you?" Who _didn't_ want Bella? She was so sweet and warm, so indescribably beautiful.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, over sensitive girl." I described how there were so many people wanting to have her, just waiting for me to screw up again (I mentally cringed). I told her how she was too desirable for her own good.

"Who's being silly now?" She really did not see herself clearly. I was going to make it my mission that one day she would finally see just how gorgeous she was.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you." Part of my less logical brain (I doubted whether any of it was non logical) shrieked at me that I should never help her discover how stunning she was so she would never leave me.

She shook her head, clearly uncomfortable with even the thought of that.

_Good._

I sighed at myself. I was so horrible, so selfish; I did not deserve this creature lying in front of me.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong." She sounded business like again, how adorable. "Your demands are marriage—" Which she stopped to cringe at. I wonder what on earth made her so opposed to having me as a husband. I would make a good husband. I would dote on her every need, worship her in every way. Or at least every way possible until she was changed. "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster. Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

"Only the first is a demand." I wanted to laugh at the look on her face. She looked…scandalized that I wanted to marry her and give her my money. I was torn between laughing and wanting to ravish her. "The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary little demand is—"

_DEMAND?_

I kept my voice as calm as possible, "Demand?"

"Yes, demand."

She has got to be kidding.

"Getting married is a stretch for me." Well, killing you and your soul is a big of a stretch for me too, Bella. I can't believe this is happening. I thought tonight was just going to be enjoying each other, and now we're haggling each other for marriage and sex. "I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

Yeah, we'll see about that.

I tried dazzling her a little first.

"No," I whispered into her ear, my voice turning to liquid sex as it breathed across her skin, causing bumps to appear. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's the problem. It won't the _same_ when I'm less breakable. I wont be the same! I don't know _who_ I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella." She would always be my Bella.

"If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie—that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance—how can that be true?"

"It will pass." I tried to make the mood lighter, "And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood." I made a disgusting shudder, "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."

"But that will always be what I want most, won't it Blood, blood, and more blood!"

Was she crazy! After all I have been through how could she still think that was right?

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true." My tone was almost bitter and I tried to calm myself again.

"Over eighty years later. What I meant was _physically, _though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself…after a while. But just purely physically—I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

I had nothing to tell her. She was right.

"So I _will _be different. Because right now, physically there nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen." I felt like I could have died right on the spot. She wanted me that much. I was honored and touched. "Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…" She kissed the inside of my palm and I had to try to calm down again. My brain was buzzing with a millions thoughts. She wanted me more than anything. She wanted me now. We were alone. I wanted her. I wanted her _right_ _now_. Her lips were so soft against my hand; I wanted them in other places. Places I only thought of deep into the night, when she was asleep…thoughts about all the pleasure we could give each other if I just let her…All I had to do was nod my head, and I could have more pleasure than I could ever imagine, and I could have it all tonight…I let out of a uneven breath.

"Bella, I could kill you." I was so afraid. I would never be able to live with myself if I hurt her. She was my everything.

"I don't think you could."

That knocked me out of la-la land. How could possibly think I could not kill her? This just proved we couldn't do this. She obviously didn't know what she was getting herself into. I couldn't kill her…_Honestly._ I suppressed an eye roll. If I could be in head for just a _moment_ maybe I could see where in the world she got these theories.

I reached behind me and ripped something off the bed and crumpled the metal minuscule pieces.

"That's not what I meant; you didn't have to break the furniture."

"What _did _you mean then?" I slammed the pieces against the wall.

She told me some ridiculous presumption on how I could never hurt because I didn't want to.

"It might not work like that, Bella."

"Might_." _She put emphasize on the word trying to convince me, "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

So? Does she think I give a damn? I am not putting her life in jeopardy, especially Bella, who has trouble surviving just walking in Port Angles, just so we could have sex. This was not going to happen. Period.

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

I gave her a hard stare, just daring her challenge me. This was nonnegotiable, and she knew she had lost. This look would be the end and then maybe I could salvage some of our evening…

"Please?" Her face was pained, and she looked so miserable and disappointed. It broke my heart. "It's all I want. Please."

My mind was on a whirlwind. She was begging me. She was literally begging me for sex. I was all she wanted. I wanted her so much it overwhelmed me. I felt my fingers twitching to touch her. Here was my sweet Bella begging me to please her, to make love to her, take her virginity, and I was refusing her. I was causing that distraught look on her face. Hadn't I already hurt her enough? I was going to take her humanity; I should at least give her the only human experience she wants. And she wants it with _me_. Not the dog or Newton. She was in my—no _our_—bed, begging me to take her. _She wants me._

You could kill her. You could kill her in less than a second.

You could be inside her.

You could bite her.

So what, I'm probably going to bite her anyway? I would just be changing her prematurely…

You might not stop. Remember how she tasted…

Venom flew to my mouth, but my mind still battled on. My mind flashed with memories of the few times Bella and I had been anywhere near to 'hot and heavy.' Those moments were bliss, bliss in solid Bella form… Memories of her moaning, trying to hold it back, but unable to keep the sound of her pleasure at bay any longer. I remembered how she felt under my hand, her skin glided and formed goose bumps under the touch of my skin. The way she would arch her back against me, wanting me to touch her longer, touch her harder. I thought of how she would dream of me, dream of me finally touching her the way she needed.

My breathing was jagged and I'm sure she heard it. All my senses were on overload, my body tingling at the familiar wave of arousal crashing down on me. My mind swam with reminiscences of her through my lust ridden eyes, the taste of her blood, how she had just begged for me and the pleasure my body could give her.

"Please?" Her heart beat picked up, she had sensed my hesitation. Damn it. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us _try_….Only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you. I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just…_please_."

I felt my jaw go slack.

Then unbelievable lust raked my body. I tightened my hold of her body and let my lips close around her ear, my breath cold enough to make her shiver, which sent vibrations all down my body, making me ache, making me want to scream at the sensation. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you—and _this_ is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?" God loved irony. Here I am, getting hard for my true love, who's blood sang me to me like no one else, and she is begging me, literally begging me, to make love to her, and I have to say no because I didn't want to change her earlier, and had actually sucked venom out of her to keep her human.

This so fucking sucked.

In fact it sucked so badly, the word lost all meaning since it ran through my mind so many times.

"Then don't refuse." She purred at me.

Oh, I wish it was that easy!

I wanted her. I could smell her arousal in the air, it was driving me insane. I could feel her heart beat flowing through me, making me feel human again. I could feel my body reacting to her stimulus; my body was getting ready for something my mind could not let its body do.

"Please." I couldn't think straight when she begged me.

"Bella…" I was going to ask her to be quiet a moment and let me think, but my body betrayed me. It had wanted her far too long; it was begging me to let me have her. To give her what she wanted, what she need, what I needed. My lips had a mind of their own as they traced her ivory skin, slowly moving on her throat. I felt her heart race and my mind screamed at my body to stop. My mind ignored it. I let her arm out from under me and she grabbed my face and I let her bring my face to hers, her lips kissing me fiercely. I took hold of her face ready to push her away and apologize when my body rejected that idea and kissed her back. My body was still in control, but my mind had no say in its actions.

I kissed her. I kissed like I had never before. I let a tiny fraction of my want for her, my need for her, into the kiss. Let her feel an inch of the desire for her body I possessed. I felt her tremble beneath me, the vibrations sending me into an out of body state. The pleasure that shot through me made me feel like a mad man, but I tried to lock it in, focusing all my attention on not pressing into her too hard, or trying to resist kissing her like a man and probing my tongue inside of her, to not taste her sweetness. I imagined that feeling for the millionth time and felt my control slip another notch. This was not good…

She broke away from me, gasping for air. Shit, I needed to be better about that. But I couldn't get away from her skin. She tasted so good; I inhaled her scent and tried to not let my tongue touch her as I kissed along her neck. Her pulse point teased me and I tried to stop touching her, but to no avail.

Then I felt her fingers undoing the buttons on my shirt. I felt her warmth all the way down to my toes. Her heat was sending me into a frenzy of need.

I needed to stop.

I couldn't stop.

Then I felt her hands, on me, on my chest. Touching me, giving me her heat. I moaned, however it was too low for her to hear. It was so good. So insanely good, I would never get enough of her. Her touch made my skin feel on fire and not from her warmth. Just the fact that she was touching me, expressing in her actions that she wanted me…She was everything.

I let her pull my lips to hers again and she was kissing me fearlessly, I could smell her adrenaline. It made her blood smell sweeter. It made me want her more. My hand was still on her face, reminding me to not use too much force as I pressed my lips eagerly to her face.

My other hand was on her waist, pulling her towards me as tightly as I dared. I wanted to pull her fully toward me, digging my fingers into her hips, grind my body against hers. Bring us both to a state ecstasy. I felt her under me and I felt an urge of pride that she was mine, that I could claim her as mine right now.

Venom flew into my mind.

I felt her trying to get her arm loose enough to undress her top now.

That was when it had to stop. I couldn't let her get that far. Touching my chest we have done before, but I was definitely not in the right state of mind to touch her now. I could not guarantee that I would be able to stop.

I moved my lips, now fully in control of my mind, to hear ear and murmured her name. "Would you _please_ stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" Typical Bella response.

I wanted to say, Damn right I want to do that part. But instead I compromised with myself and said "Not tonight."

My mind was in control of my beast of a sexual appetite, and I was starting to strategize now. If we could 'try' then she would marry me, she give me everything I wanted…

"Edward, don't—"

"I'm not saying no." I kissed her softly on her neck, hearing her heart rate decline slightly from disappointment, she was slowly coming down from her victory high. As if I'd be that easy.

That didn't come out right. "I'm just saying _not tonight."_

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," She had a point there. We surely couldn't 'try' at Charlie's house (at least not while Charlie still had to believe a shot gun could kill me) and my house was out of the question. I would never hear the end of that…Oh God, imagine Emmett. I could hear him now. "_Little Eddie has finally sealed the deal! I've always thought they should make a sequel to _40 year old virgin_, but 110 year old virgin doesn't roll the tongue…" _I chuckled despite myself.

"I wasn't born yesterday. Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight what guarantee do I have that you won't running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am—clearly—much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore…you first."

I'm good.

I love Vampire minds, I can think of perfectly logical explanations in 2 seconds.

"I have to marry you first?" She sounded shocked.

"That's the deal—take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"

I was elated. She was going to marry me. I knew she was, she wanted this too much. Or rather, her hormones wanted this too much. I kissed her, letting some of my happiness pour into the kiss.

"I think that's a really bad idea." I remembered to pull back to let her breathe even through my euphoric condition and gave myself a little mental pat on the back.

"I'm not surprise you feel that way. You have a one tracked mind." I had to smirk at that thought. She had a one track mind of thinking about having sex _with_ _me_.

"How did this happen? I thought I was holding my own tonight—for once—and now, all of a sudden—"She looked so bewildered, I loved it.

Barely containing my happiness, I finished her sentence.

"You're engaged,"

**Ok, when I wrote this is turned out to be 26 pages. So I'm giving this delectable chapter out in two halves, skipping the first part mostly because I thought it would have been boring in EPOV, however if you disagree and requested it I will write it =)**

**I hope I did Edward justice and have gotten back on the good side of my poor neglected Bella/Edward fans! **

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Love,**

**Jenna**


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